I cried for an hour and a half, and then they gave me a Wizard’s robe.

Goodbye Lush. Goodbye 2016.

I’ve finally, after some more rejection and reflection, decided that I’m ready to say goodbye to Lush, to retail, and also say goodbye and fuuuuuck you to 2016 and everything (almost everything) it’s traumatized me with.

But enough about that, this is about the Planets Spa Treatment I had at the Leeds LUSH Spa, because it was beautiful, magical, and highly emotional.

I found myself in a busy Christmas LUSH, the queue snaking around the entire store and desperate, wild-eyed customers with messy lists panic buying bath bombs and creams they didn’t really understand. As I was lead through a door and downstairs, the noise and stressful vibe disappeared into the calming hum.

I won’t go into too much detail, because the LUSH Spas are magical in the surprises they offer, in us not knowing absolutely everything about the experience we’re about to have.

I chose Mercury, Change, because, well, do we even need to ask? Change makes sense. Change from within me, adding peace and eschewing bad bad bad bad decisions will inevitably lead to some important change, and actually I feel like I’m already getting there, slowly. I think. I think the end of 2016 has been positive for me.

Past, the last 12 months and beyond

The ceiling spun with celestial projections and, for an hour and a half, I had a full body massage and a full mind cleanse. I really was not expecting to end up crying, sharing. I’ve often shrunk away at the thought of seeing a therapist or talking too much about how I’m feeling. It only makes sense that I have a total breakdown about the baby, the breakups, abuse, and shattered self-confidence, whilst half naked in a LUSH spa.

Present

(They keep tissues by the bed, I think perhaps I’m not the only person to cry). I was given time to collect myself, don a really fuckin’ amazing Wizard’s Robe, pee, take an emotional post-sob selfie, and get ready for the next part. Present. More massage, tea, my palms telling us things that made too much sense.

Future

More time to chill, a look at exclusive Planets products (Rose & Lemon fresh facemask oh my gooooosh!), the most intense head and neck massage I’ve had in my whole life. I also had leg cramp for about thirty minutes so my mind darted between ‘ouch ouch ouch ouch’, ‘oh my gosh my face feels so frickin’ good’ and ‘I gotta make changes and I want to write I should write, I really should write I have to live my life now’ and then back to ‘ouch OUCH FRICK OUCH MY LEG’.

A -shower, beautiful chat about the Planets being a transitory experience, being given the limited edition products to take home, learning that at 27 and a half we find our true selves- later, I’m back and out into the Leeds City Centre streets and more than a little confused being in the real world again. I was down there in the spa, and in my own thoughts, memories and hopes for FIVE HOURS!

And I still don’t really know where I go from here, or whether I can say a spa treatment changed my life. But what I can say is that it made me say some things out loud I’d been denying, it reminded me to stop being a self-doubting mess, and I’m so stoked I got to wear a Wizard’s robe.