When you’re in a good space it’s important to enjoy it. You don’t want to be thinking about “when am I gonna next feel like the worst” all of the time. But, but but but… it is important to utilise some of your productive clarity time to help out future-not-okay-you.
I just wanted to check in with you all, and let you know I’m still here, and yes, I’m a little depressed but I’m fully functioning and not in any danger of disappearing anytime soon.
I am a tentative waterfall who really does know its way after all,
and the warmth of the rocks I flow over, it’s calling to me
Bhrahami invoked; vibrations spill from my mouth and my fingertips.
Mountain strong, legs of supporting stone,
and shoulders of elastic. They carry me forwards.
Hitting rock bottom is a strange thing. Because sometimes you’re certain you’ve hit it, and then something else happens and you go “oooh, no. Now I’ve hit it.” or you might not even realise you’re at rock bottom at the time of rock-bottoming. It’s only when you’re looking back and go “ah, okay. That time […]
I guess I’ve been pretty quiet about what’s going on with me recently. Just lots of lunch pics on instagram, vagueness about what I’m up to, and sharing when I’m feeling positive and staying quiet when the negativity has been overwhelming. Well it’s been an interesting 2017, so far. I’m dating somebody really wonderful (I […]
Because sometimes you read posts and they’re like “GET UP! GO FOR A RUN! DO YOGA! WRITE A 5,000,000 WORD NOVEL! SURROUND YOURSELF WITH ALL YOUR POSI FRIENDS!” and they are just not. helpful. right. now. I’ll run after your peppy annoying ass with a machete and you’ll be more flexible for yoga because you’ll […]
Goodbye Lush. Goodbye 2016. I’ve finally, after some more rejection and reflection, decided that I’m ready to say goodbye to Lush, to retail, and also say goodbye and fuuuuuck you to 2016 and everything (almost everything) it’s traumatized me with. But enough about that, this is about the Planets Spa Treatment I had at the […]
There’s no photos, no eloquent writings or suicide notes from the night, or the day after. Because it wasn’t glamorous or romantic, and I didn’t sit and cry beautifully and write loving poetry to my family. I didn’t take selfies or photos of my drip in the hospital and I wasn’t able to live blog […]
Few and far between. For every blog post published is pages and pages of poetry, scribbles, journaling and non-sharing. It’s time to slowly slowly slowly try and let go. It’s been a really long time since all of this and I’m still just okay and I know I’m sometimes distant and sometimes snappy and often confused. I’m trying though. Bear with me.
I know it should worry me
but the sickness it bubbles up and not eating isn’t the most important thing, right now. I don’t care, I don’t care.
Desperate for sleep, with a dancing mind. Flinging itself
into each and every corner of my skull. Just to say
i’m here, and I’m not quite done. I’m not quite ready to rest. I still have some dancing to do.”