Why share? Why? Why type your life out and click a button, waiting for people to read? I don’t know. But I know that when I do write, the fog lifts a little.
Category: anxiety
Taking responsibility for your mental health
When you’re in a good space it’s important to enjoy it. You don’t want to be thinking about “when am I gonna next feel like the worst” all of the time. But, but but but… it is important to utilise some of your productive clarity time to help out future-not-okay-you.
“I’m on your team”
When you told me
“I’m on your team”
I believed that
You would not leave, and
I keep reminding myself
that you are the real deal, and
that
you
could stick around.
How to spot – & avoid – an oncoming burnout
Oooooh I was getting close! But, I’m back! And refreshed! And I’m not burned-out. Yay! Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling a little emotionally fragile (more so than usual, anyway) and so I took a step back from my various activities and commitments to just do less. What is ‘burning out’? 1.”My […]
Looking back on recovery
And by no means has ‘recovery’ been perfect. I managed to get myself into a nightmarish relationship straight afterwards, was further emotionally traumatised by Will.. uhh I mean Bill, and ended up quitting my whole life in Oxford. But, at no point since Recovery Day no.1 did I reach the lowest ever again. Why?
Because I knew I could fucking handle it.
A 28 Day Cycle
I am a tentative waterfall who really does know its way after all,
and the warmth of the rocks I flow over, it’s calling to me
Bhrahami invoked; vibrations spill from my mouth and my fingertips.
Mountain strong, legs of supporting stone,
and shoulders of elastic. They carry me forwards.
Falling in love with life again
And I’m not in control.
I know that, but
I feel okay, okay on this roller coaster
with its faulty harness
and its loosening screws
The dark clouds overhead are threatening to
electrify the metal track
and throw us into a darkness.
I’m ready to talk: Part 3.
There’s no photos, no eloquent writings or suicide notes from the night, or the day after. Because it wasn’t glamorous or romantic, and I didn’t sit and cry beautifully and write loving poetry to my family. I didn’t take selfies or photos of my drip in the hospital and I wasn’t able to live blog […]
I’m ready to talk:
I know it should worry me
but the sickness it bubbles up and not eating isn’t the most important thing, right now. I don’t care, I don’t care.
Desperate for sleep, with a dancing mind. Flinging itself
into each and every corner of my skull. Just to say
“hey,
i’m here, and I’m not quite done. I’m not quite ready to rest. I still have some dancing to do.”
Tomorrow is what I’m terrified of.
Breathe. There has been a lot. Of everything. Of those moments you’re so, so busy thinking about something that you’re not breathing. And a panic you don’t even notice or feel builds up but it’s numbness, you don’t seem to need to breathe. Only think. Tomorrow I will breathe, and I will do my job […]
A Vegan Adventurer 