“I’m on your team”

For some reason,

-for many reasons-

I can’t believe that –

You won’t leave, that

You,

will stick around.

 

I keep reminding myself

that you are the real deal, but

 

A version of me sits in my brain

swinging its legs

and whispering

its lips blistering

my fragile amygdala

-I googled that that’s the place your emotions get processed, or something-

 

And I know it makes no sense

To be so scared

all of the time.

But, when your relationship history

has not been one of simplicity

(that’s the nicest way I can put it)

 

You learn to expect that

that version of you

-the negative you

the bitchy “it’s never going to work” you

that you-,

what she says is probably true, but

 

When you told me

-wrapped up in our covers –

whilst evil me was raging,

kind of rampaging,

to make the real me feel small,

 

When you told me

“I’m on your team”

I believed that

You would not leave, and

 

I keep reminding myself

that you are the real deal, and

that

you

could stick around.